The last few weeks have been very trying on me as I mourned the death of a co-workers child. I tried to stay strong and be very supportive to others in the office. I mean I thought I was doing great. I am very Spiritual after all. Nothing could make me more ready to be the rock. To help everybody. The atmosphere changed and everyone was so down. You could hear faint laughs coming from the back of the office, but not those whole hearted ones that keep you smiling.
Then a week later I thought I was doing better. I laughed a little more and when approached to search the internet for a florist for the service and to pick our the arrangement. I started sobbing and could not stop as tears ran down my face while filing. I asked a co-worker to help me look and I began to cry more as I saw the arrangements,in baskets to place on the floor, and then the flowers that were to be placed in an, up off the floor arrangement, was even worse and then flower arrangements on little caskets. I could not contain my tears and my crying I had to get away.I felt like I was going to pass out. A friend hugged me and asked me to go walk outside and we did for about a block and I got some fresh air. It took about an half hour to get it together.
Why all this emotion? Because I have already been through all this before. I lost 2 children and I could not bare to go to the service or see the little coffin in front of the church. I did not even pick my own children’s flowers. I just paid for it all. My family made all the plans. I was in shock and could not do it. I will never give up or stop trying to be okay with it. Never giving up….
Have you ever noticed your day, just flows without any thought or trouble at all. It just starts, goes through the day and ends so smoothly. You really feel like it is a dream. What no drama today at work, or at home? Wow, today was an awesome day! I felt like I was floating on a cloud like my feet were not touching the ground. Yes that smoothly! When was the last time you had a day like that? You have had some. What in the universe or Godly nature, does this event usually happen. We know it is supposed to be a full moon for 3 days, but that is when all the crazy moods and drama begin. Right? So, what made today so good? How can that be. Don’t judge me. I do not take it for granted. Actually I love days like this! I could use these kind of days everyday. Couldn’t you. Even driving was nice, no rude drivers at all. As a matter of fact they were all kind like me. Letting people cut in and merging right on time and nobody was being selfish. At least it seemed to me. Did anyone else have a day like this?
I am very thankful and I was in a great mood today. I woke up early, prayed with my daughter as I always do every morning before she leaves to school. My life was on auto pilot and I loved it! All my co-workers got along and were so considerate to each other. Well I am learning a great lesson, and will continue to just go with the flow………..
Today was the day that I stayed home and rested. Well I worked online for a few hours. I did rest from my day job for a few hours, and then the other online job kicked in, as I did want to have a proactive day. I visited with the family as I have so many of them coming in for my Sister’s retirement from the Military this Saturday. I also visited with my adopted Son, wife and grand kids that dropped in for a visit. A very busy day, how could I possibly rest. I realized that now that it is late,I will write a little.
Yes, today was supposed to be that day! Sometimes, you can’t say it will be like this or that. The day controls you, and the people around you. Unless you lock yourself in your room and just don’t come out. Then, when will you eat. I ate late, because I fasted all morning long until almost 3pm. Not intentionally, it just happened that way.
I called off from work sick, but resting gets old and I know I need the rest to heal, but being at home gets tired quick.
I should not be such a workaholic. How do I find time to relax. If I do, I am asleep and I feel guilty for sleeping to get better and to heal.
Today should of been the day, because I still feel bad and will have to spend another day at home, when I want to go to work.
Tomorrow I will work at home, drawing and painting and being more creative.
Yes, today should of been the day……….
Have you ever had a day that you knew was going to be slow, uninteresting and negative? You can just feel the energy and it was so heavy. I tend to think to my self that I refuse to have “one of those days”. I can’t for see it in my future! I have to get up and make my day special. I am determined to do that. Whether it is to make someone’s day or just be a positive light and reinforcement in a place that has negative energy. Do you remember growing up and giving every one else all the power and you just went along with the tension, the negativity, the stress? Why did I do that? Why did I say wow, I had a bad day, I will see how tomorrow goes. It better not be a bad day. And then it was, because of people around me were having a bad day. Well it did not mean, that I had to have a bad day too. I learned in life to pick your battles and to make positive choices. Other people do not determine my day and how it will be. I choose to make my day everyday when I wake up. I make the choice to be happy, positive, joyful and full of energy. I took my power back years ago and will not let anyone take it from me. So on the job I am happy and joyful, and others may not be, but because I kept being me and did not conform to be like those at work. I have been blessed to see major transformations taking place in others. Maybe not all, but a majority of my co-workers. Life is hard enough and I don’t need any other stress to carry. I am not saying that I don’t feel for you, but I will pray for you and try my best to uplift, encourage and help you in any way that I can. But that joy is mine and mine alone if it must be. So, I am sharing this to say….Don’t let anyone steal your joy, and don’t be afraid to get caught smiling and laughing. It is your day and you chose it! Take back your power and watch your life and those around you being transformed day by day. It may not happen over night, but it is going to happen because you chose to make it happen. “There is life and death in the POWER of the tongue. Speak life over yourself,loved ones and circumstances. You have the power!
Oh what a day……….
Today is the day!! No more procrastinating. I am so excited about today and all that I have accomplished.
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you did not know what to do, once you started something creative and fun that was your hobby? When you get to a place that you take the plunge and go for your dreams, it is exhilarating.
I am so motivated to give my best and to go as far as I can go with my creations. I am finally getting everything copy written and I am going for it full speed ahead. I really want to share this quote by Mario Andretti.
“Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s the determination and commitment to unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek.”
― Mario Andretti
It is time to obtain success through trying, giving my all and succeeding! I feel that you succeed when you don’t procrastinate and you go for your dreams.
I am so excited because once again I am going for my dreams……..